Just Get There

Hey there readers, it's your faithless mixtape maker here. I've got so many "in progress" mixes waiting in the wings, I'll try to be better about cleaning them up and posting. I tend to start a new playlist and then one bleeds into the next, the tracks sometimes repeating, finding a place in between newer, more relevant-to-my-current-mood songs.

I'm going to start with this one because I've been meaning to put it up here for ages. Work is a big part of my life. Not just because I need it to live and support my kids but because my job is so much more than a job.

I started out at this company as a secretary. I'm a musician and a writer by trade, after all. Before I went back to work, I was a stay at home mom who played in a band. I was used to not being in charge of anything, not even my own life. I could handle filing and typing and taking phone calls. So I did that for a while. I have zero mechanical abilities. I didn't know anything about boilers or piping or compressors. I wasn't interested.

And then I got interested.

I had some passionate, interesting, intelligent people come into my life who didn't care that I was a secretary and a woman and who couldn't fix anything mechanical if her life depended on it. I wanted to learn and so they taught me. I started taking classes. It didn't matter if it was over my head or not. I discovered I was organized. I could think through a project and manage it. I could manage people. I liked managing people, leading them and helping them succeed. Over the years I was handed more and more. We expanded and I was sent out to help new offices come online. I loved it. I was in charge of things and I wasn't afraid. I learned mechanical systems. I learned accounting. I learned operations. I learned whatever I needed to, whatever I wanted to.

Then I stopped being afraid to take charge in my personal life. I was a woman holding a position women don't hold. What was I afraid of at home? I started asking the same questions I'd been asking for years that I'd been thus far content to let go unanswered. The answers I got were heartbreaking. I started thinking about my dreams, about the power dynamic in my relationship, about my children growing up at an alarming rate who I so desperately wanted to provide a stable home for.

When someone on my team no longer supports the common goal we've all agreed to, we have a conversation about change. We talk about steps to get the train back on the tracks together. I make sure they know how we can get this done together, then I wait to see if they'll pull alongside me. Whether they do or don't, I still keep moving. Sometimes this means leaving someone behind.

My job is more than just what I do for a living. It's my family (in some cases literally) and my world. It's where I get inspired, learn new things, stretch my abilities, test my wings. I meet people who challenge me, frustrate me, teach me, change me.

This is the playlist I throw on in the mornings on my way to work. Some of the songs are cheesy, some are probs deeper than necessary but hey. You're here for the music, right? I promise the music is good.