Guys, I'm not going to lie. This past year has kind of been the pits. I've been making hateful, stupid mixes about how the world sucks and we're all going to die, blah blah blah... I suppose that's what happens to people when they get divorced and deal with all that awesome fallout and then try to date someone who is actually normal and have that blow up also because you're a mess and shouldn't be dating in the first place and then somebody you really loved once decides to go and get married and you just kind of lose your shit and retreat into a semi-permanent state of self-inflected late 90's emo/pop mixtape purgatory.
So, I apologize for my silence but I'm pretty sure nobody but me was interested in my mixes that consisted largely of every song off of Static Prevails with the occasional Sunny Day Real Estate song thrown in for extra angst.
Not long ago I said that it seems like my theme this year is that I know it's going to hurt, but I'm going to do it anyway. I think the reason things are working out that way is because for right now, bad decisions feel better than apathy. Maybe I'm doing the wrong thing but at least I'm doing something, I tell myself. I know I'm lost but I'd rather storm off into the wilderness and see what's out there rather than fucking wait on the path to be rescued. I'll probably get poison ivy and maybe get chased by bears but I'll have a fucking awesome story to tell.
So here's my story right now, as much as I understand it. I am enjoying a sweet moment while simultaneously fully anticipating that it will all go to hell.
I know it's going to hurt, but I'm going to do it anyway. Bears be damned.
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